Bacon denied

Unfortunately, we have run out of bacon.

Fortunately, we've got our bacon recipe down to a science.

Unfortunately, it takes a week to cure the pork belly to the point where we can smoke it.

Fortunately, we started curing the latest belly last Friday, so it's ready to smoke today.

Unfortunately, the smoke controller does not handle the cold well and it is December.

Fortunately, bringing the controller into the house the night before usually warms it up enough to get started, and then the heat it generates itself is enough to keep it going.

Unfortunately, it seems that wasn't enough this morning, and the temperature-down button still doesn't work.

Fortunately, the temperature-UP button works just fine.

Unfortunately, the default starting temperature is significantly higher than the temperature I need for bacon, so being able to increase the temperature does not help me.

Fortunately, I have a dedicated fire-management hair dryer that I can use for applying direct heat to the smoke controller.

Unfortunately, even that is not enough to get the button working.

Fortunately, Bradley smokers have a robust support community and I was able to learn that this is a common problem (eventually the creosote builds up in the electronics and messes them up) and should be easy to fix, given the right parts.

Unfortunately, Bradley customer support (the source of said parts) is strictly a Monday-to-Friday operation and since we took it out of the cure last night, the bacon needs to be smoked ASAP. Ideally today, but absolutely no later than tomorrow.

Fortunately, I have had my eye on a super-nice replacement smoker that would significantly expand my repertoire and capacity.

Unfortunately, it is not inexpensive.

Fortunately (?), we didn't go anywhere on vacation this year, so the entertainment budget is in better shape than most years, and we can afford it.

Unfortunately, there's no way I can get it shipped to me in time to smoke the pork belly that is sitting in the fridge right now.

Fortunately, we discover that a reasonably-local Ace Hardware store (truly, Ace IS The Place) sells the exact model I want.

Unfortunately, they sell UN-assembled models.

Fortunately, when I call them to check stock, they volunteer the information that they've got a display model on the floor, already assembled, and they're willing to sell me that one.

So now I'm the proud owner of a new Traeger Timberline 1300 pellet smoker/grill, and our bacon gratification should only be delayed by a day.

The new smoker won't do cold smoking, but the old one should still work for that.