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Because it is the only TV option available, and because my DSL tops out at an anemic 1.5 megabits, I am a Dish Network subscriber. For the most part, it is innocuous and not egregiously more expensive than the value we get from it.
But occasionally, as was the case tonight, it intrudes upon my consciousness, and neither it nor I walk away happy with the interaction.
In January, Dish decided to give us a year of the Starz package for free. This is all well and good, and we've watched two or three movies that we otherwise would not have as a result.
Tonight, they called with an offer to replace the remainder of the year of Starz with three free months of HBO and Cinemax, which is similarly fine with me, which is to say I could not care much less.
Except with the HBO package, after the three months are up, it will automatically convert to a paid subscription unless I call them and cancel. (The Starz was set to softly and suddenly vanish away when the year was up.) When I heard this, I said, no, I don't want it at all if I have to call you and cancel it.
"You don't have to call," she said. "You can go to Channel 100 and make the change there."
"No," I said. "I don't want the package if I have to cancel it myself."
I believe she thought I meant I didn't think I could figure out how to navigate to Channel 100 and manage my account, because that's when she trotted out the question in the subject line above, after which I didn't say the first six things that popped into my head, including, "I'm more familiar with the Internet than you will ever be," "Honey, I built the Internet(1)," and "Wow, what an offensively condescending question, fuck you."
No, I just reiterated my preference to not be switched to a service that I will have to try and remember to opt out of, because even that level of effort raises the cost higher than the value I'd be receiving from the service. (I also know more about economics than she probably ever will.)
And now I'm using my "familiarity with the Internet" to see if there's any new information about a timeframe for faster pipes in my area, so that streaming might actually be an option soon(2).
Lesson learned, if the caller ID says "Toll Free", let it go to voicemail.
(1) Granted, that one is a bit of an exaggeration. But given a twenty-year career in networking and network services, it's at least in the neighborhood of the ballpark of true.
(2) Also, of course, to share my annoyance with an uncaring world. :)
But occasionally, as was the case tonight, it intrudes upon my consciousness, and neither it nor I walk away happy with the interaction.
In January, Dish decided to give us a year of the Starz package for free. This is all well and good, and we've watched two or three movies that we otherwise would not have as a result.
Tonight, they called with an offer to replace the remainder of the year of Starz with three free months of HBO and Cinemax, which is similarly fine with me, which is to say I could not care much less.
Except with the HBO package, after the three months are up, it will automatically convert to a paid subscription unless I call them and cancel. (The Starz was set to softly and suddenly vanish away when the year was up.) When I heard this, I said, no, I don't want it at all if I have to call you and cancel it.
"You don't have to call," she said. "You can go to Channel 100 and make the change there."
"No," I said. "I don't want the package if I have to cancel it myself."
I believe she thought I meant I didn't think I could figure out how to navigate to Channel 100 and manage my account, because that's when she trotted out the question in the subject line above, after which I didn't say the first six things that popped into my head, including, "I'm more familiar with the Internet than you will ever be," "Honey, I built the Internet(1)," and "Wow, what an offensively condescending question, fuck you."
No, I just reiterated my preference to not be switched to a service that I will have to try and remember to opt out of, because even that level of effort raises the cost higher than the value I'd be receiving from the service. (I also know more about economics than she probably ever will.)
And now I'm using my "familiarity with the Internet" to see if there's any new information about a timeframe for faster pipes in my area, so that streaming might actually be an option soon(2).
Lesson learned, if the caller ID says "Toll Free", let it go to voicemail.
(1) Granted, that one is a bit of an exaggeration. But given a twenty-year career in networking and network services, it's at least in the neighborhood of the ballpark of true.
(2) Also, of course, to share my annoyance with an uncaring world. :)